Obligatory New Year Post

I spent most of the year in a pretty stagnant place. I was living at home, no job, out of school and going to see my ex on the weekends. I was not doing anything to really make myself better. Yes, I was sticking with the lifestyle changes I implemented to get my weight and health under control, but beyond that I wasted half this year.

The first big up swing for me was finding a job. My ex would hound me about my lack of employment, but in all honestly, he works for his father and never had to fill out a job application in all his life, let alone survive an interview with a potential employer.

I say job, because there is no passion in what I am doing, it’s not really helping me achieve my career goals, but it is teaching me how to be more political and deal with people. And my timing was great; the store was very short staffed and was having trouble holding on to employees. Four people came and went since I had started.

In three months, I was in middle management!

But then I kind of let it sit there. I had my job, I was with a “great” guy and I was content. But not really doing anything spectacular.

And then something just sort of clicked. I started doing the things I wanted to do. Before, if I wanted to go downtown and checkout the local galleries I’d try and get a friend to go with me, if I couldn’t I would just stay home.

It was like I decided if I couldn’t do it myself, then I wasn’t going to be doing anything I loved. I didn’t go downtown to meet new people. I talked to a few, but never stuck around them to hang out. It was pure me time.

I was getting comfortable going solo when the break-up happened. I was blamed for what he wasn’t accomplishing. It hurt a lot, but it made me think, “It’s not MY fault that HE isn’t logging off the computer long enough to study.” It also reminded me that it is my fault that I wasn’t back in school! It was my own fault that I was living at home, still being cared for by my parents.

It helped me realize that I don’t need the other people to get my ass in gear. I started making list. First, it was little lists of chores that needed to get done around the house. Then it was bigger goals. I opened my own bank account. I re-enrolled myself in college. Did all the financial aid paperwork and registering by myself.  I made a realistic budget and am prepping to move into my own apartment.

I saw a huge amount of self-growth in the end of 2012. And I’m excited to keep that going in 2013!

I did miss out on my New Year’s kiss, and that did bum me a bit, but IM and I are still new and nervous, so I can’t hold it against him. We’re talking me and about issues we both have. It makes me hopeful that I can obtain my happiness and share it as well.

Have a great 2013 everyone. Keep in touch! And keep growing. I intend to!